Elisabeth Torres, Global Animal
It has been said that love covers a multitude of sins, but killing innocent animals to improve your love life is not one of them. Yet this practice continues all over the world, decimating a wide range of species from rhino to tigers.
According to ancient myths, you can gain an animal’s characteristics by ingesting them. These ancient beliefs are the reason animals like deer, turtles, sharks, bears, blowfish, seals, bulls, tortoises, seahorses and crocodiles are killed for the random body parts believed to give men an erection. There is no scientific proof that eating any of these animals helps cure impotence, yet men all over the world continue to believe it.
Gentlemen, if the women in your life knew exactly what you consumed to cure your impotence, they would not be turned on. On one website selling traditional Chinese medicine to enhance love making I was disturbed and repulsed to see the ingredients included deer penis, yak testicles, and fur seal. Trust me, there is no bigger turn-off than a man with bear bile, tiger penis, rhino horn, or unborn turtle breath. Except somebody who is so desperate or selfish to promote the slaughter of innocent animals for their own sexual delusion. Somebody who would kill one of 3,200 tigers left in the world for their own erection is, to put it mildly, a real dick. Think about it: you wouldn’t kill your dog and eat his genitals to improve your love life. The thousands of bears killed for their gallbladders are no more deserving of death than your own pet.
Fortunately there is a simple solution. It’s smaller than a turtle egg, cheaper than a bowl of shark fin soup, better tasting than bear bile, more discrete than carrying around a rhino horn, has been proven to work by scientists, and most importantly it does not involve killing or hurting a single animal. It is Viagra, and it is available at your local pharmacy for anyone with a prescription.
Gentlemen, get a grip. It’s not that hard.