The ad in Craigslist is only a couple of lines:
Excited to be going to eternal glory next Saturday, but saddened by the thought of your domesticated little buddies being left to fend for themselves in your absence? Fret no more. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is here to help.
It’s followed by a link to the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets website, which offers insurance for pets if a customer is “Raptured” in the next ten years. The pitch is that if one’s furry family members are “left behind,” doomed to slog it out on earth amidst the hellfire, an animal-loving atheist will take care of them. For a mere $135.00, your pet is guaranteed to be covered for the next ten years in the event of the Rapture. At a little more than a dollar a month, many may consider such eternal peace of mind a bargain.
Rates have increased due to Saturday’s 4/21/11 Rapture prophesy. Still, why true believers in the Rapture would want to leave their beloved pets to atheists makes no sense. That is, until you consider their belief that all non-believers will be left behind, and left out of heaven. That potentially leaves a nation of cats, dogs, birds, reptiles, and bunnies in the hands of one godless little company.
The copy from the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets site is hilarious, or ominous, depending on one’s orientation:
You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.
We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.
We are currently active in 26 states, employing 40 pet rescuers. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.
It isn’t immediately apparent how serious the site is, but this bit from the Washington Post points to at least a few hundred people willing to put their money where their belief is:
“Right now, we have over 250 clients,” Bart Centre, the founder of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA, told the Washington Post. For a fee of $135 (plus $20 for each additional animal), Centre’s firm promises to collect your bird, cat, dog or other caged animal within 24 hours of the Rapture. Despite having 44 contractors in 26 states, Centre can only offer rescue services for camels, donkeys, horses and llamas in Idaho, Montana, New Hampshire and Vermont. Centre, who writes anti-religion books under the name Dromedary Humphas [sic], carefully screened every rescuer, and says they all love animals. None will be affected by the Rapture, as each is a committed atheist. “These are people not likely to be Raptured under any circumstances,” he said. “Not that we think anybody is going anywhere anyway, which we make perfectly clear on our Web site.”
Mr. Centre, with tongue seemingly planted in cheek, donates Eternal Earth-Bound Pets ad revenue to local animal rescue organizations. But not before pulling in 135 bucks for every… believer.
As for us here at Global Animal, a heaven without our pets would be no heaven at all. So we’re taking our chances.
— Arthur Jeon, Global Animal